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Mar. 17th, 2009 | 06:30 am
mood: weird weird

the leprechauns stole our baking powder for the irish soda bread. 

happy st. patrick's day.  woo.

i woke up at four thirty and went to bed at midnight.

weirdly, i'm not tired.  but tonight i'm going to be totally dead.

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(no subject)

Mar. 14th, 2009 | 03:39 pm
mood: drained drained

i'm drained right now.  i would read but my mom's cooking onions and my eyes sting. 

i hate saturdays sometimes. 

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(no subject)

Mar. 6th, 2009 | 12:53 pm
mood: satisfied satisfied

I hate posting two blog entries in one day, but I just felt the need to tell everyone (well, no one reads my blog, exactly, but I derive odd pleasures from talking to myself) that I'm going to bring my tripod and camera to the mall to take some rad self-portraits.  I'm thinking of setting my tripod and camera up by Claire's, exploding through the crowd, knocking over/severely injuring some grannies/small children and running in a wall and breaking my nose and taking some of me standing dead looking in the middle of the crowd.  People will stare.  But that's okay.  Because that's my VISION.  I might actually make it even more epic by wearing the dress from DEB, but probably not because I want to maintain some dignity.  Not like I really have much to maintain, after prancing around in pretty much every local place while wearing a fancy dress. 

I didn't say this on Flickr, but at the abandoned mini golf course shot last weekend, I ended up seeing the owner's son (the ice-cream place owner's son -- the ice cream joint is right in front of the mini golf course) and he stared at me like I had a talking boil on my butt, but then said I could stay because they had to fix it up anyway.  I also stole this really epic metal medallion thing from a little lighthouse thing that fell over.  I put the lighthouse back together, though.  Which I think was a good deed.  But I was probably the first person to go back there in the five or six years since it was abandoned.  The weeds were so dense and thick I kept tripping, the rasberry bushes were EVERYWHERE, and now I have about fifty thousand more scars on my shins.

The only uber-sucky thing about seeing the owner's son was that his sister goes to my school.  We're not in the same grade, but I'm sure he told everyone in his family and out and probably even everyone on the Internet about the freak wearing a dress in the dead of winter taking pictures of herself.  Isn't that lovely?  I feel so good about what I do. 

Anyway, that's pretty much it for today.  Hopefully. 



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(no subject)

Mar. 6th, 2009 | 08:32 am
mood: weird weird

What's your deal?

I have no deal.  What deal are you talking about?  My only deal is the deal that I made with you that you won't make me deals or ask me stupid questions about deals.  Because if I had a deal that had to be dealt with, I would inform you of my deal and we would deal with my deal.  So go away and get a reason to be here in my world dealing with my deals.  Who let you in my bubble, anyway, you deal freak?

Oh, and more importantly, what's your deal?





People are too used to being praised over nothing.  And when they stop getting praised over nothing, they have a conniption because they weren't gushed over like they just found a cure for cancer or climbed a mountain.  And then there's the people who find a cure for cancer and climb mountains, and they don't get recognition.  Because apparently the world cares more about nothing than they do about the important things. 

I don't know if I make sense right know, but that's what I had to say.  Well, the poetic things I had to say.  Now I'll chop your brain into little bits by droning on about what I'm going to do today and the possibility of having a totally epic new outfit for photo shoots.  =D 

Yeah, I'm going to DEB tonight with my aunt (I love late-night mall trips to pieces, for some weird reason) and I want to get this really pretty prom dress.  It's puffy and delicate and white with baby blue sparkly detail.  And they've had it in stock since I was ten.  Well, I tried it on when I was ten but that didn't work out too well.  x.x

I don't know if I'm in a good mood or a bad one, but I have math to do right now and need some bubble gum before I go into withdrawl.  Bubble gum is my purpose for going on in life favorite candy. 

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Subjectical Survey.

Mar. 2nd, 2009 | 06:57 pm
mood: blah blah

1.  Where is your cell phone?  Um, my bag, I think.

2.  Your significant other?  Why must you know?  Stalker.

3.  Your hair?  Naturally dirty blonde, dyed orange then black the bleached to medium brown. 

4.  Your mother?  Fun.

5.  Your father?  Fatherish.

6.  Your favorite thing?  My camera.

7.  Your dream last night?  I don't remember, and even if I did, it might mentally scar you. 

8.  Your favorite drink?  Sprite.

9.   Your dream/goal?  Go to college for whatever I want at that point. 

10.  The room you're in?  Bedroom.
 
11.  Your fear?  Vomiting/death. 

12.  Where do you want to be in 6 years?  In college. 

13.  Where were you last night?  At home watching a TV program about progeria.  

14.  What you're not?  Graceful.

15.  Muffins?  Tasty!

16.  One of your wish list items?  This dress from DEB that I really want. 

17.  Where you grew up?  I was born on a pear orchard (well, at a hospital, but then I went home to my pear orchard) and then I moved about a half hour away to where I live now.  I moved when I was like three.

18.  The last thing you did?  Ate some dehydrated banana chips.

19.  What are you wearing?  A really big baby blue Peter Rabbit and underwear. 

20.  Your TV?  My buddy.

21.  Your computer?  Awesome.

22.  Your life?  Interesting but missing something.

23.  Your mood? Poetic.

24.  Missing someone?  Too many people to count.  Even the people I hate. 

25.  Your car?  I'm 12, so I can't drive, and last May, I totaled a go-kart.  But we have three cars and my dad has a big paint truck.

26.  Something you're not wearing?  Pants.

27.  Favorite Store?  The thrift store.

28.  Your summer?  Sad. 

29.  Your favorite color?  Orange or mint green.  

30.  When is the last time you laughed?  Two hours ago or something. 

31.  Last time you cried?  I don't know. 

32.  Who will/would re-post this?  What the heck are you asking?

33.  What book are you reading now?  Rhymes With Witches by Lauren Myracle.

34.  Favorite sound?  Morning birds chirping in the early spring air. 

35.  What is the farthest you have been from home?  California -- all the way across the country. 

36.  Do you have a special talent?  Writing/photography, I guess.

37.  Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?  My best friend Natalie, I'm pretty sure. 

38.  If you where a crayon, what color would you be?  White, because no one uses it.  Being a crayon would hurt, but the emotional pain would be less than the pain of your head being worn off. 

Maybe.

39.  What is your favorite thing about yourself?  My nails. 

40.  Do you like your handwriting?  Not really.  It's blah. 

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(no subject)

Mar. 2nd, 2009 | 01:12 pm
mood: hopeful hopeful

i feel ready.  i feel like i can do what i've wanted to do for so long. 

i think i can, and i hope i can. 

i think i've what discovered the secret.

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I'm Lame.

Feb. 26th, 2009 | 11:24 am
location: Couch.
mood: indescribable
music: Lean Cuisine Commerical.

I haven't posted in over a week.  I think.  Anyway, I just wanted to tell everyone that I'm alive.  Well, if you look at my Flickr account you should know I'm alive because I post something like every day.  I'm OCD, not doing 365.  Meh. 

Anyway, if you were wondering, my right index finger is sadly lacking a coat of hot pink nail polish.  Well, it looks like someone blew pink chunks all over it because I was picking it off yesterday as I watched the first episode of the Secret Life of the American Teenager on YouTube while eating jelly beans.  It explained so much.  Okay, that's sorta ironic because on TV What Not to Wear is on and the whole store is striped orange and white, which reminds me of Juno which reminds me of SLAT.  o_o;;  Yeah, I probably make no sense. 

-sigh-

 Modified journal excerpt time --

It hurts to look at it.  It’s one of those things where you want to look, but

you know you shouldn’t.  But unlike some things like that, it’s scary to uncover

darkness in someone's past.  Because then you don’t look at them the same way. 


Ever. 


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Musings.

Feb. 18th, 2009 | 12:25 pm
location: Couch. I feel sick. But I'm detemined and sick feeling.
mood: determined
music: My fingers against the keyboard.

I think I have a stomach virus.  Ugh.  I feel nasty but I still go outside and take pictures.  It almost helps.  I'm pretty sure I would still be taking pictures of myself if I was puking like clockwork every two minutes.  Well, probably not, but seriously  --  photography has become really calming for me.  I remember just two months ago I would have no patience doing it, and would freak whenever my pictures didn't come out the way I wanted.  Now I just deal with it when my pictures come out bad.  I try to think before I shoot.  I make sure my battery is charged (well, I'm still working on that one, actually).  And if no pictures come out decent from a shoot, I just plan a re-shoot! 

I think photography is an interesting hobby.  I love to write, but since I got sick it's been really hard to.  Now I feel like I can present my emotions in a different way.  And I almost feel like I was present them in a better way then when I wrote all the time.  I might go back to writing a lot, but for now, when I'm sick, photography is a way to express myself.  And I don't always feel like I'm going to throw up afterword. 

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get anywhere with my photography.  My style is um, well, weird.  But Flickr is opening up chances.  I swear I learn something every single day.  I'm trying to please different tastes in each of my pictures.  Which is a big thing to want to do, but I'm working on it.  It's impossible to please everyone, but I'll try.  I'm determined.  

I love how ideas for shoots just come to me.

I love the feel of my cameras against my chest.  And neck.  And stomach.  My grandpa says I look like a Japanese tourist on 34th street ot something whenever I go over his house to take pictures.  I don't know.

I'm so happy I got my camera for Christmas, even though I never asked for it.

I love the way things just happen the way they do. 

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My Friend Is Eating her 7,000th Push Pop.

Feb. 16th, 2009 | 07:12 am
location: Japanese Mattress
mood: nostalgic nostalgic
music: Folk?

Okay, so, I'm currently sitting on a mattress that isn't mine, on the floor, and I'm feeling Japanese.  'Cause Japanese people put their mattresses on the floor right?  Well, so do gypsies, but, ya know.  Japanese.  Gypsy.  Close enough.

My non-Japanese friend is sitting on the mattress with me, looming over my shoulder, sucking on her Push Pop.  God I'm weird.  Oh, yeah, and it's seven AM.  

OH!  And as my friend just suggested saying, I STEPPED ON A STAPLE YESTERDAY (thanks, J  =D).  Yeah, we were making this obstacle course thing for my hamster and I went on top of my window seat, and then I jumped off and got several staples lodged into the ball of my left foot.  It was painful I guess, but of course pain for me means macabre hysterics, so, um, I cracked up while my foot gushed blood all over everything.  There's blood in the bathroom, downstairs, my bedroom -- its truly lovely.  I wish I could show you, my darlings.  >D 

ANYWAY, my friend is about to eat a killer waffle, and my mom is trying to make me eat something, so ta ta for now!  Eat your veggies and don't forget -- BODY ODOR IS LESS OFFENSIVE THAN MORBIDLY OBESE WOMBATS.

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Can't Wait!

Feb. 13th, 2009 | 11:58 am
location: Couch
mood: peaceful peaceful
music: None.

Just got back from the dentist.  Shockingly, after probably sixty pounds of pure sugar and high fructose corn syrup over the last six months, I have no cavities.  And I always get cavities.  So that's exciting, I guess.  

I'm really excited for after the prom.  Because then all the dresses will go on sale and I can go get 'em for pictures.  But there isn't a prom when you're in the 6th grade, so it's not like that part will be fun, haha.

I want to take pictures but I don't know what to wear besides my polka dotted dress.  I really ought to get that red one from my grandma, jeez.  Forgot to ask yesterday.  Maybe I'll just sit on the porch.  It smells like spring and the birds are chirping.  I love it.  

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